Monday, September 29, 2008

*Like the Tooth Fairy, but better

Hear that? Hear it? No? ME NEITHER. That thing that you don’t hear is not the sound of the freight train that previously resided in my kitchen. No, it’s the gentle purring of a BRAND NEW REFRIGERATOR!

I know. It’s exciting.

I opened my freezer on Saturday morning, and green goo with chocolate chips in it came drizzling out at me. My fridge had died. It was sad (if not unexpected—it was a pretty old fridge), primarily because of the various Omaha Steaks products in the freezer that were ruined. Alas.

(The question that occurs to me now is what was I going into the freezer for anyway at 10am on a weekend? The freezer consisted entirely of the following: several varieties of nuts; half a package of Thin Mints; mint chocolate chip ice cream—or, well, goo; a tuna noodle casserole, probably from February; two packages of Omaha Steaks stuff (burgers and filets-or-beef-tips, I still can’t tell); two popsicles; and four bags of whole cranberries. Not exactly breakfast food.

Which brings up another issue, which is that I have clearly inherited my parents' thing where they stock up on cranberries during the holidays so that they can “use them year round” or something. I do it too, even though I only use them in the fall/winter when they’re easily found at the store. But I digress.)

Of course, because it was Saturday, they couldn’t install a new fridge until Monday, so I made a grocery run for items that would not require dairy products or create leftovers. I left the store with: peaches, Hamburger Helper Microwave Singles, Maple & Brown Sugar Frosted Mini Wheats (for breakfast, since they’re tasty without milk), and apple juice boxes.

Then I went home and played a game called ‘Is This Okay To Eat After A Night Without Refrigeration Or Should I Throw It Away?’ It’s fun, you should try it. And, best of all, I was forced to clean out the three bowls of Former Food, Now Probably Penicillin, one of which has been there for many months.

But today, the Apartment Fairy* came and removed the old fridge and put a brand new one in. It’s so white and clean and pretty and cold! My first thought was, hey, now I can cook! Which, as you know, has SO much to do with the fridge and nothing at all to do with my perfectly functional stove.

The one downside is that the new fridge is about six inches deeper than the old one, which is a slight problem since I most definitely have a one-butt kitchen (no more than one person can properly function in it at a time—I have tried, believe me) and now it’s really only a half-butt kitchen back by the fridge. I expect that this will present some challenges, but I’m too enamored of my shiny white fridge to care right now.


  1. Oh my goodness! Now I am going to have to visit again so I can keep the kitchen door open when I sleep on the couch. My favorite part (well, I loved every sentence) was this "Former Food, Now Probably Penicillin" because I know EXACTLY what that is referring to. Love it. So glad you have a new fridge. However--- since it was a one butt kitchen before, and now is a half butt kitchen, I am thinking I won't be able to access the fridge. You might have half a butt, but mine is definitely full sized :-)

  2. Ummm I'm totally certified in no fridge crisis management. Next time call me, I could have answered any "will this kill me" question!